Embracing Grief
ABOUT ME
Although I have spent the last decade working in the grief and loss world from supporting those grieving the death of someone who served in the military to people who struggled with being able to find reasons to live; grief has always been a part of my life.
Even from a very young age, I remember the feeling of grief when I was told that my grandfather had died. And even though that is all I remember, it is an example of why I do what I do because grief does not always have words to explain it and grief can get stuck in the body.
Psychotherapy, support groups, grief conferences, and talking to friends and family are all great ways to feel better, to lighten the weight of grief, and to keep their memory alive.
But do you do when talking about it only gets us so far?
What do you do when you are all talked out but you still feel the heavy weight of grief?
Sibling Loss
My Story
Stacy and I both grew up doing sports. She started in cheerleading, I started in gymnastics, and eventually we did both. Being active has always been something that helps me relieve stress while also making me feel good.
As a child who kept to themself growing up, sports gave me an outlet to be around other people and to connect with them without necessarily always having to talk. And it was the same with Stacy. Even though we weren't the siblings that talked to each other much, sports bonded us in different way.
And then it happened...
At the age of 16 I was in the car accident Stacy died in, and it wasn't until 5 years later where I attended The Compassionate Friends National Conference where I first connected with other people who got it. A place where I did not have to talk about it because we were all there for a similar reason, our sibling(s) had died.
And what got me to go back was because at the end of the conference, all the siblings got together to sing a few songs and do skits. And because of my background in sports and choreography, I ended up helping to coordinate the dance skits.
We were grieving but not in the traditional grief support group or therapy kind of way.
Although the conference does have workshops and sharing sessions to talk about our grief, grief does not always need to be talked about to soften it.
And now it brings us to why you might be here...
Grief Isn’t Just About the Person Who Died—It’s Also About Everything Else That Changes
When someone dies, it's not just their absence we grieve.
It's the ripple effect. The sudden silence. The roles we once had but no longer fit.
It's all the secondary losses that no one talks about.
You might be asking:
Who are you now that they are gone?
Maybe you were the middle sibling, the caregiver, the spouse, the best friend. Now those roles are gone, and you're left asking where you fit.What happens to the future you imagined?
The holidays you thought you'd spend together. The dating advice you might have ignored anyway. The growing old side by side that won’t happen now. The inside jokes, the secrets only they knew, or even just the person who always looked out for you.When no one understands what you're going through?
When friends stop calling, coworkers avoid eye contact, or people say “they’re in a better place,” you can feel more alone than ever.
Whether you're grieving the death of someone you love, or grieving something harder to name—your story, your pain, your healing—is welcome here.
And you don’t have to talk your way through it.
Sometimes, you just need a place to breathe.
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